I'm going to be honest, I'm more than a little bit frustrated right now. Last week, and this month for that matter have been the toughest I've had since I started playing.
Part of it is outside of my control. When Ive seen huge downswings in the past, Ive always been skeptical as to whether or not these things were possible for good player who was playing well. I think my understanding of the true amount of variance involved in this game has improved significantly.
A lot of it is within my control. I've always thought I had fairly good tilt control, and even attributed a lot of my good and consistent results to it. I believed in my ability to look past the short run, and overcome even the toughest runs of cards while still staying on my "A" game. What I failed to realise is that in reality all it was, was that I hadn't really reached my threshold yet. Perhaps I have better control that average, but Ive now admitted to myself that I'm far from perfect.
The next step is to put it in the past and move forward. There's no guarantee that the cards will be any kinder this week, or that things will rapidly turn around for me, but I need to look at the week, and each day and session for that matter as an independent event. If I play poorly or expect to run hot because I feel like I'm "owed" something, it going to impair my progress. Would it help my confidence a lot to have a huge winning session today? Of course, but I don't think that can be my goal.
My goal for today and the rest of the month is to play with as little tilt as humanly possible, to take my time with decisions when its necessary, to continue to attack even the high variance edges, and to game select well to put myself in the most +EV spots possible.
Wish me luck.
Juggernaut
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